Free United Club of Kids

Free United Club of Kids was a documentary-style comedy overview of the historical Free United Club of Kids, of which Ted Phillips was a prominent member. It was produced by Ted Phillips for a school project under Cracked Egg Studios, although Nick Phillips is credited as producer in the video because it was a result of his original suggestion. Unlike most of Ted's Ni-Ki-Oh! work in the prior years, this was more heavily script-based. It was written by Nick Phillips on November 25, 2005 and was recorded on Digital-8 format media November 26-27, 2005.



After recently testing Free United Club of Kids' knowledge of their club's own history, Niki Moto has found that he must recount the years past in an academic fashion. He goes over the syllabus, briefly discussing the formation of the club and encounters with a gang called the Ancient Macaroni Kids.

Although some of the events take place over 10 years ago, the characters still look the same as they do now. For some members, they did not know the founding members until recently, and are unable to imagine them as children. Even so, for others, remembered images of a person are strongly influenced by the person's current appearance.


On June 13, 2005, Nick Phillips suggested that Cracked Egg Studios make a feature film about the Free United Club of Kids. This discussion resulted in the structure being a mixture of historical past events and fictional future events. The full-length film was slated for 2012, and System of a Down's Sad Statue was suggested as a theme.[1]

In November 2005, Ted Phillips wrote the premise of the final project for his Digital Frame and Sequence class at New York University's Tisch School of the Arts, which was instructed by Darrel Wilson. He originally envisioned Nick sitting on a rock in the backyard, before any deck was built, regaling young children with his adventures in the Free United Club of Kids. This video was intended as the opening credit sequence for the feature film.

Free United Club of Kids footage was spread across two Hi-8 cassettes, but neither of them were labeled until February 4, 2022. This led, in December 2005, to one of the cassettes being inadvertently confused with blank Hi-8 media, and several scenes, such as the Battle of the 30 and the Battle of the Parking Lot, were recorded over by footage of a sunrise. Prior to 2008, Cracked Egg Studios' available digital storage space was limited, with captured source footage often being deleted once a video edit was complete to make room for new material. This policy led to the only known extant footage of those scenes being the final edit from November 2005.

Ted broke most of the rules for the project in its production, specifically that it was not slideshow of 35mm still images. The reception among his classmates mainly consisted of shock and confusion, but Andrew Rubin was intrigued by "the gang wars of eight-year-olds." As Darrel Wilson was most interested in experimental work, he very much enjoyed it.

The video was released as downloadable content on the Cracked Egg Studios web site on June 10, 2006, although it was nearly impossible to download because the transfer was buggy. The video was released on YouTube on August 10, 2006, but did not become widely popular. It first appeared on the Cracked Egg Studios web site in December 2006 in an embedded YouTube player, but was removed April 2007 when The Vault was upgraded to Version 3. It has remained one of the most popular releases of Cracked Egg Studios aficionados to date.

In May 2008, Ted Phillips announced plans to remove this video from his YouTube account and make it solely available on the official site. In early 2009, Cracked Egg Studios canceled plans for a feature because they decided a series was more suited to the scope of the story. On April 17, 2009, Free United Club of Kids became a Cracked Egg Studios web site exclusive.

On April 19, 2009, Ted Phillips told Joe Justus that he might release an updated video that had undergone color correction. The Digital-8 media it was recorded on was notorious for losing color information and having a flattened contrast. However, he decided against this, because although some scenes like the parking lot looked more beautiful after color restoration, Ted believed that the nearly black-and-white quality of the video emoted a nostalgia.

Prior to the relaunch of the Cracked Egg Studios web site in early 2022, while reviewing and regenerating previously uploaded videos, Ted Phillips determined that several prior fair use assertions for audio tracks in Free United Club of Kids were tenuous at best, and elected to re-score the entire video. Usage of clips from the Donnie Darko soundtrack, the Slipknot song Gently, the Bloodhound Gang song Bad Touch, among others were replaced with appropriately licensed stock assets, and a remastered version of the video was released on July 13, 2023.

Cultural References

Someone else do this.


    1. ^Phillips, Nick. "Maybe...". Cracked Egg Studios. Retrieved on April 17, 2009.

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Claw Snuff

Urban Emo
I was Bowser in the video. The girl holding the dragon book. At the end you can see me throw a book at one of the students.

Claw Snuff

Urban Emo
All of The Above +
x wrong

Claw Snuff

Urban Emo
I prolly get Ted a prom date, I kick ass, I can insult James, I really, really, really hate ghetto kids. That is part of one of the best club introductions ever!

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