1. FUCK
2. Mew

Mew (1999 - May 20, 2014), also called Pity Noble Duck by Clare Phillips, Cally by John Phillips, and Mewseph by Nick Phillips, is a female calico cat living at 35-D Edgewater Park and the club's second mascot.

Mew's mother was Patches, a stray cat at the time, of Edgewater Park. Patches had a litter of kittens at the beginning of the summer of 1999, which included Mew and Mewtwo. Patches kept this litter in the sideyard between 58-D and 59-D. The Phillips family decided to adopt one of the kittens, but since their favorite kitten "Tiger" was absent when they went to choose a kitten, they took the calico kitten Mew instead. (Later that day, they adopted "Tiger" as well, who came to be called Mewtwo.)

Kathy Phillips wanted to name the kitten "Pity" because they took pity on her and kept her even though they wanted a different kitten. Clare Phillips, however, wanted to name the kitten "Noble Duck," after the name given to Ferdinand the Duck by the pelican in the movie "Babe: Pig in the City." A compromise resulted in the kitten being named "Pity Noble Duck." However, Ted Phillips noticed that the kitten's cry sounded like "Mew" and that she also resembled the Pok?mon Mew, so he decided to call her Mew; this name is the one that stuck.

Mew and Mewtwo were exhibits in the Really Endangered Amals Zoo.

On February 13, 2000, Nick and Ted Phillips came up with the idea of training Pok?mon in real life, called Biomon. Ted took Mew as his starter Biomon, while Nick took Mewtwo. This is the Biodex entry written for Mew: "Psychic Cat Biomon. Rarely seen in the wild. Her special attack is Lick. Owned by Biomon Trainer Teddy Phillips."

They began their Biomon journey on Saturday, February 19 and carried their Biomon in their arms. When they went to Alden Town to buy film for their Biomon camera, they decided to put their Biomon into Ted Phillips's backpack so he could go into the store empty-handed. After Ted exited the store, they opened the backpack to get their cats out, which ran away. They were able to find Mewtwo under a car, but Mew could not be recovered.

When Mew did not return home on her own after a few days, they decided to make a "Lost Cat" poster on Thursday, February 24, and put up copies on telephone poles in the area. On Sunday, February 27, a nameless woman called the Phillips family; Ted and Nick met her at Sweeney's to discover that the cat she was holding was indeed Mew.

During the summer of 2000, Janya raped Mew several times, and she became pregnant with kittens. On the night of September 13, 2000, Mew gave birth to a litter of five kittens that came to be called Meowth, Celebi, Igglybuff, Screamer, and Ditto. Like any mother cat, Mew constantly relocated her litter for no apparent reason and wasn't used to the whole breast-feeding thing. She was eventually spayed so she couldn't have kittens again.

Mew was elected club mascot on August 15, 2001 at a meeting of three members. She held this spot until Tommy became the de facto mascot in late summer 2002.

Mew still lives in 35-D Edgewater Park to this day. She is not very flexible in her movements. If you pet her, she will probably lick your hand.

Mew was featured as a starter Pok?mon in the games Pok?mon Black and White, which also included the losing-Mew subplot. Mew also made many incidental appearances in Cracked Egg Studios media.

Ted Phillips also has written a theme song for Mew, which goes like such:
Nick Phillips extended this song with the following: