Joke of the days!

Devilschild

Devilschild

CES Staff
DAY 1-JOKE #001:

A virgin hick

Two hicks from West Virginia got married and were having their honeymoon in a local motel. They begin doing what honeymooners always do, but right before they consummate the marriage the woman says, "Be gentle, I'm a virgin."
The man is shocked and visibly upset and storms out of the room without saying a word. He goes home to his family and tells them what happened, and his dad agrees, "If she isn't good enough for her own family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for you!"
 
DAY 2-JOKE # 002

The Toothbrush And The Toilet Paper

One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, ''Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world.'' Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"
 
DAY 3-JOKE # 003

Sign On The Brothel

Q. What did the sign on the door of the mountain lionhouse say?


A. Beat it! We're closed.</font>
 
DAY 4-JOKE # 004



Last Request


The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he said he didn''''t want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day.

Finally, when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold.

"No," the inmate said, "just get it over with."

"Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" said the guard. "You didn''''t even want a special last meal!"

The inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."

The guard nodded and told him to go ahead.

The inmate started, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall..."
 
DAY 5-JOKE # 005

Door-to-Door Sales Crap

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it."

She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?"

The salesman says, "Why do you ask?"

She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."
 
Ok, let's hear the next joke! Come on, Cardinal Jofuf Juftuf, I want to see yet another joke that is not your original creation, that you didn't even read but copied and pasted from a joke website.
 
DAY 7-JOKE # 007

Ok, there are 5 peanuts walking down the road, and one of them is salted!

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
DAY 8-JOKE # 008

Throwing Stuff Down A Mineshaft
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Two guys were hiking in the mountains when they came across an old mine shaft going straight down into the ground.

"Wow," said the first guy. "I wonder how deep it is?"

"I dunno," said the second.

"Let's find out." With that, he dropped a rock down the hole. They waited and waited, but didn't hear it hit bottom.

"Hmm. Let's try a bigger rock," said the first guy, and tossed a watermelon-sized stone down the hole. They waited a couple of minutes, but didn't hear it hit either. So, they looked around for something bigger to throw down and came across an old railroad tie, which they lifted together and dumped down the hole. Then suddenly, as they waited to hear it hit, a goat streaked between the two of them and jumped straight down the mineshaft.

While they stood there scratching their heads in amazement, a third guy came up the path and asked them if they'd seen a goat.

"Yeah, just now," said one of the first two guys. "It just ran up and jumped down this hole."

"Oh, well then it couldn't have been my goat," said the third guy. "My goat was tied to an old railroad tie."

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spacernextEdited by: Cardinal
 
Ok, I'll do one:

Joke of the Day BY RYOU:

A guy has a 25 inch penis...eww.
So he goes to a doctor, 'cuz no one'll sleep with him. The doctor says:
"Look, I can't help you. But, there is a voodoo doctor who might be able to help."

So the guy goes to the voodoo doctor. The voodoo doctor says:
"Look, even I can't help you, but...there's a magic frog in the woods, and if you ask him to marry you and he says no...it'll shrink 5 inches! Trust me, it works!"

So the guy goes into the woods, finds the frog, and asks him:
"Mr Frog, will you marry me?"
"No." says the frog.

His penis then shrinks 5 inches.
Wow...three more times and I'm set. thought the guy.

"Mr. Frog, will you marry me?"
"No."
Shrinks again.

Sweet! Two more times thought the guy.

"Mr. Frog, will you marry me?"
"For the last time, no! No, no, no!"Edited by: Niki Moto
 

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