1. FUCK
2. Clarespeak

Clarespeak is a baby-talk variant of Standard American English spoken by Clare Phillips during the early years of her life. For the most part, Clare Phillips now speaks Standard American English, though some traces of Clarespeak remain.

The biggest difference between Clarespeak and SAE is the pronunciation of many words. The spellings used by scholars to write Clarespeak reflect these mispronunciations.

Clarespeak began as soon as Clare Phillips began speaking. This form of Clarespeak, called Old Clarespeak, consisted of indistinct babbles resembling speech, with only a few recognizable words. The purest form of Clarespeak, the one given most attention by scholars, is called Classical Clarespeak and was spoken during the years 1996 - 1999. Late Clarespeak, spoken during the several years following, refers to the few traces of Clarespeak remaining in Clare Phillips's speech as it more and more approximated SAE. Neo-Clarespeak refers to recreational use of Clarespeak by current writers and speakers.

Clarespeak was first noted when Ted Phillips recorded a transcript of Clare Phillips's speech during 1996, entitled "Clare-A-Rie Says." Clare Phillips was mostly the only one who spoke Clarespeak, although her brothers Ted and Nick also communicated with her, to an extent, in her own language.

The word Clarespeak was invented by Nick Phillips when he wrote the FUCKipedia article "Drian" in 2007. The historical divisions of Clarespeak were also invented by Nick Phillips, when writing the Clarespeak article, on June 18, 2008.

The only extant samples of authentic Clarespeak writing are Clare Phillips's nominal signatures, which are written as random anagrams of the word "Clare" (the most commonly cited example of this is "ElrAC").

During the classical era of Clarespeak, Ted and Nick would test Clare by asking her to say English words, which she pronounced as Clarespeak words.

T/N: Clare, say binoculars.
Clare: Binocliars.
T/N: Say ridiculous.
Clare: Ridiclious.
T/N: Say nucular.
Clare: Nuclear.
T/N: Say particliar.
Clare: Particular.

One variant includes asking Clare to say chit, which she pronounces as shit.

Here a short guide to making your English sound more like Clarespeak:

• The consonant blend br, when not followed by [], is pronounced [dr]. If it is followed by [], the [br] becomes [by].
• The sound [yl] becomes [l].

Words marked "constructed" were invented by scholars for use in Clarespeak. Words marked "LC" appeared after the end of the classical era.

• abomidale - abominable (constructed)
• amal - animal
• Beautiss - Brutus
• bider - spider (constructed)
• binocliars - binoculars
• chalkamilk - chocolate milk
• Clare-A-Rie - Clare Marie
• drain - brain
• Drian - Brian/Ryan
• drown - brown
• Homer - The Simpsons
• idiock - idiot (LC)
• lacksadaisical - lackadaisical (LC)
• nana - banana
• nano - piano
• particliar - particular (constructed)
• phere - sphere (constructed)
• poop - soup
• ridiclious - ridiculous
• Sticks Flags - Six Flags
• toad/told/code - cold
• Tommy - Rugrats
• tooken - taken
• trivacy - company
• two butts (meaningless interjection)

The Clarespeak word amal was used in the title for the Really Endangered Amals Zoo, which included an "abomidale snow guy."

The Clarespeak word chalkamilk appears in the 2005 version of Bongomon: I Choose You! when the character Clare repeatedly screams, "I want chalkamilk!" It also appears in the outtakes on the Ni-Ki-Oh! Duelist Kingdom DVD.